Almost everyone who identifies with the American community has, at one point or another, faced the choice of coming out while abroad. Perhaps you are about to meet up with that charming person you chatted with on Tinder for the first time, are about to meet with an old family friend, or simply spend a few hours in a pub. All these interactions warrant the same decision: whether or not you choose to reveal your American nationality. Americans are known in England as noisy, bigoted, overweight, and prideful supporters of capitalism. While the general public believes that Americans only need to come out once, the sometimes painful process of coming out is often repeated over and over again with each new interaction. In addition, inaccurate media portrayals of Americans in England often give members of the American community a false perception of the realities which they face upon their moving to England.
Coming out as an American can be an extremely difficult decision, as not every member of the community has supportive family or friends, and thus it may illicit mockery, scorn, or even violence from strangers. Therefore, it is prudent to make your decision before travel commences. To make this decision, you should be educated on the pros and cons of coming out, and, armed for this situation, form an educated decision which is most beneficial to your mental and spiritual wellbeing.
First things first, the decision to come out is entirely your choice. There is no right or wrong answer, and every member of the American community must make the decision that best suits their current situation and needs. However, it is always best to be educated about the English community in order to make an informed decision. Films such as Christopher and His Kind, or Touch of Pink, or even novels like Two Gentlemen Sharing by William Corlett, provide excellent source material for getting to know the English community. If you are a frequent traveler, it is possible for you to be out in one country and not in another. As long as you keep track of friends you might have made on your travels, no one needs to be the wiser. It would be a dreadful thing to mix up your 25-year-old companion in Amsterdam with your 40-year-old Parisian friend if you can’t remember which one knows about your American identity.
Pros
One of the pros to coming out is that it will be easier to achieve a greater sense of self. Coming out can alleviate the fear of being discovered or being outed under circumstances beyond your control. You will also have the opportunity to find a community of Americans with likeminded values and interests. There are some things that only other Americans will understand, so the next time you wish to reminisce about bald eagles, Papa John’s pizza, or sweet tea, you will have a community, whether online or in person, who will understand and sympathize. Having this support system in place will allow you to live as your most authentic self, which could massively benefit your mental and emotional health. You will also be able to celebrate American Pride Day, which falls on the 4th day of July every year. American Pride Day can be a fantastic way to get involved with the American community while abroad; it typically involves parades, fireworks, and parties. Although there have been several complaints in recent years about missing permits for public parades, the illegality of fireworks in foreign countries, and the illogic of celebrating the 4th of July in Britain, Americans have not allowed protests to silence American Pride Day.
Cons
Living openly as an American, while potentially beneficial to your emotional health, might also open you up to the scorn of others. Many out-Americans have been ridiculed by English people for their accent and volume of their voices, being called “bald eagles” or “Yankees,” and being asked why they would allow Donald Trump to run for president. Some European countries even exercise the right to refuse service to Americans in shops and restaurants, and hospitals will occasionally refuse visiting rights to American couples, or force them to pay for hospital services despite their national taxpayer funded medical coverage. Americans can also be victims of violence, with brawls and bar fights breaking out over their presence. While these situations are not common, they do pose a risk for those who decide to live openly as an American in a foreign country.
Staying in the Closet
Should you decide against coming out as an American, continue reading to learn some tips on how to assimilate safely into English culture. And remember: There is no shame in remaining in the closet. It will not turn you into a Communist and does not make you any less of an American.
The Accent:
Assimilating to English culture requires a great deal of practice and patience. While much can be learned by observing and copying what you see in media and everyday life, take care to notice the details. The first thing to note is the English accent. You must take great care should you attempt to replicate it and make sure it is authentic; otherwise, it will be easy for natives to call you out.
This accent must be memorized and spoken in a fluent, natural manner. You must remember to check the words you use, and replace ‘elevator’ with lift, ‘flashlight’ with torch, and so on. This extends to spelling, as the British insert ‘u’s into words such as colour, flavour, humour, and odour. In addition, theater and center are spelled theatre and centre. While these may appear to be tiny details, ignoring them will immediately out you as an American. Using American words and spellings will make it clear that you are familiar with the American community, and will arouse suspicion. If possible, find a fellow closeted American or an English-American ally to help you.
Monocles:
Monocle is the term used to describe an English ally or a closeted American dating another closeted American in order to protect their identity from being discovered. Because it is highly unlikely that an English person would date an American tourist, your identity will remain hidden. Monocles are easy to find in many English pubs all over the country. Locations such as London’s The Glass Bar, XXL, Horse Meat Disco, or Hard On are just a few excellent bars and pubs where you are likely to encounter American expats or English-American sympathizers. If you feel comfortable with using the Monocle approach, find a suitable Monocle match who understands your situation and is willing to help.
Should you choose to use this strategy, do exercise extreme caution. You are dealing with another person’s feelings and internalized prejudices, and the wrong person will choose to use their knowledge of your true nationality against you, either by outing you or using the information to manipulate you for their own gain. In return, Monocles expect to be rewarded for their services either through a constant supply of beer or by touting their newly acquired girl/boyfriend. Some Monocles are people who have simply grown tired of constant singleness and are desperate enough to reach out to the steady flow of Americans-in-hiding entering London to prove that it is possible for them to get a date, albeit an artificial one. If this sounds like a decent arrangement to you, a Monocle could prove incredibly useful in hiding your American identity.
The Hanky Code:
The Hanky Code is a way for Americans to wordlessly communicate with each other in foreign countries. It has become popular in recent years after a digitized copy of the 1983 edition of The American’s Handbook was automatically downloaded onto over three million Kindle Fires in a publicity stunt by the Organization of American States. The handbook details the particulars of the Hanky Code, a system of communication involving the placement of handkerchiefs in various pockets. The Hanky Code was originally invented to determine which cowboys in a line dance were filling in for the women and is so American in its invention that it will be recognized by any American almost immediately.
Both the placement and color of the handkerchiefs have different meanings. It is recommended that the meanings are committed to memory in order for it to be used effectively. Political views can be communicated by placing the handkerchief in the left back pocket, indicating Democratic views, or the right pocket, indicating Conservative. While the handbook includes hanky colors for each of the 50 states, it has become more common nowadays to simply wear a handkerchief in the school colors of one’s college or alma mater, particularly state schools with well-known football programs. The material of the handkerchiefs is used as a class indicator. Upper class Americans will typically wear a handkerchief made of silk, while members of the middle class will opt for the more common, cotton-poly blend.
Final Words
The decision to come out as an American may be a difficult one, and even though the decision to remain in the closet is valid and may seem tempting, it too comes with its own separate set of challenges. While international travel has never been easier, the current political and cultural climate has created its own variety of obstacles for living an American life abroad. However, abiding by the tips provided to you in this section will make it easier to enjoy your experiences abroad, with a much lower chance of unfortunate incidents occurring based on your American heritage. And, if all else fails, simply tell everyone that you’re Canadian.
Coming out as an American can be an extremely difficult decision, as not every member of the community has supportive family or friends, and thus it may illicit mockery, scorn, or even violence from strangers. Therefore, it is prudent to make your decision before travel commences. To make this decision, you should be educated on the pros and cons of coming out, and, armed for this situation, form an educated decision which is most beneficial to your mental and spiritual wellbeing.
First things first, the decision to come out is entirely your choice. There is no right or wrong answer, and every member of the American community must make the decision that best suits their current situation and needs. However, it is always best to be educated about the English community in order to make an informed decision. Films such as Christopher and His Kind, or Touch of Pink, or even novels like Two Gentlemen Sharing by William Corlett, provide excellent source material for getting to know the English community. If you are a frequent traveler, it is possible for you to be out in one country and not in another. As long as you keep track of friends you might have made on your travels, no one needs to be the wiser. It would be a dreadful thing to mix up your 25-year-old companion in Amsterdam with your 40-year-old Parisian friend if you can’t remember which one knows about your American identity.
Pros
One of the pros to coming out is that it will be easier to achieve a greater sense of self. Coming out can alleviate the fear of being discovered or being outed under circumstances beyond your control. You will also have the opportunity to find a community of Americans with likeminded values and interests. There are some things that only other Americans will understand, so the next time you wish to reminisce about bald eagles, Papa John’s pizza, or sweet tea, you will have a community, whether online or in person, who will understand and sympathize. Having this support system in place will allow you to live as your most authentic self, which could massively benefit your mental and emotional health. You will also be able to celebrate American Pride Day, which falls on the 4th day of July every year. American Pride Day can be a fantastic way to get involved with the American community while abroad; it typically involves parades, fireworks, and parties. Although there have been several complaints in recent years about missing permits for public parades, the illegality of fireworks in foreign countries, and the illogic of celebrating the 4th of July in Britain, Americans have not allowed protests to silence American Pride Day.
Cons
Living openly as an American, while potentially beneficial to your emotional health, might also open you up to the scorn of others. Many out-Americans have been ridiculed by English people for their accent and volume of their voices, being called “bald eagles” or “Yankees,” and being asked why they would allow Donald Trump to run for president. Some European countries even exercise the right to refuse service to Americans in shops and restaurants, and hospitals will occasionally refuse visiting rights to American couples, or force them to pay for hospital services despite their national taxpayer funded medical coverage. Americans can also be victims of violence, with brawls and bar fights breaking out over their presence. While these situations are not common, they do pose a risk for those who decide to live openly as an American in a foreign country.
Staying in the Closet
Should you decide against coming out as an American, continue reading to learn some tips on how to assimilate safely into English culture. And remember: There is no shame in remaining in the closet. It will not turn you into a Communist and does not make you any less of an American.
The Accent:
Assimilating to English culture requires a great deal of practice and patience. While much can be learned by observing and copying what you see in media and everyday life, take care to notice the details. The first thing to note is the English accent. You must take great care should you attempt to replicate it and make sure it is authentic; otherwise, it will be easy for natives to call you out.
This accent must be memorized and spoken in a fluent, natural manner. You must remember to check the words you use, and replace ‘elevator’ with lift, ‘flashlight’ with torch, and so on. This extends to spelling, as the British insert ‘u’s into words such as colour, flavour, humour, and odour. In addition, theater and center are spelled theatre and centre. While these may appear to be tiny details, ignoring them will immediately out you as an American. Using American words and spellings will make it clear that you are familiar with the American community, and will arouse suspicion. If possible, find a fellow closeted American or an English-American ally to help you.
Monocles:
Monocle is the term used to describe an English ally or a closeted American dating another closeted American in order to protect their identity from being discovered. Because it is highly unlikely that an English person would date an American tourist, your identity will remain hidden. Monocles are easy to find in many English pubs all over the country. Locations such as London’s The Glass Bar, XXL, Horse Meat Disco, or Hard On are just a few excellent bars and pubs where you are likely to encounter American expats or English-American sympathizers. If you feel comfortable with using the Monocle approach, find a suitable Monocle match who understands your situation and is willing to help.
Should you choose to use this strategy, do exercise extreme caution. You are dealing with another person’s feelings and internalized prejudices, and the wrong person will choose to use their knowledge of your true nationality against you, either by outing you or using the information to manipulate you for their own gain. In return, Monocles expect to be rewarded for their services either through a constant supply of beer or by touting their newly acquired girl/boyfriend. Some Monocles are people who have simply grown tired of constant singleness and are desperate enough to reach out to the steady flow of Americans-in-hiding entering London to prove that it is possible for them to get a date, albeit an artificial one. If this sounds like a decent arrangement to you, a Monocle could prove incredibly useful in hiding your American identity.
The Hanky Code:
The Hanky Code is a way for Americans to wordlessly communicate with each other in foreign countries. It has become popular in recent years after a digitized copy of the 1983 edition of The American’s Handbook was automatically downloaded onto over three million Kindle Fires in a publicity stunt by the Organization of American States. The handbook details the particulars of the Hanky Code, a system of communication involving the placement of handkerchiefs in various pockets. The Hanky Code was originally invented to determine which cowboys in a line dance were filling in for the women and is so American in its invention that it will be recognized by any American almost immediately.
Both the placement and color of the handkerchiefs have different meanings. It is recommended that the meanings are committed to memory in order for it to be used effectively. Political views can be communicated by placing the handkerchief in the left back pocket, indicating Democratic views, or the right pocket, indicating Conservative. While the handbook includes hanky colors for each of the 50 states, it has become more common nowadays to simply wear a handkerchief in the school colors of one’s college or alma mater, particularly state schools with well-known football programs. The material of the handkerchiefs is used as a class indicator. Upper class Americans will typically wear a handkerchief made of silk, while members of the middle class will opt for the more common, cotton-poly blend.
Final Words
The decision to come out as an American may be a difficult one, and even though the decision to remain in the closet is valid and may seem tempting, it too comes with its own separate set of challenges. While international travel has never been easier, the current political and cultural climate has created its own variety of obstacles for living an American life abroad. However, abiding by the tips provided to you in this section will make it easier to enjoy your experiences abroad, with a much lower chance of unfortunate incidents occurring based on your American heritage. And, if all else fails, simply tell everyone that you’re Canadian.